Heart break

Because ministry has been super busy and lots of breakthroughs have happened recently, I've had a hard time finding time to sit and really process all that's going on. God moves each and everyday right in front of my eyes and it's become normal. This is a good and bad reality. Good because I wake up and expect the Lord to move powerfully that day, expect Him to give me the words and strength for every conversation. It's become bad because sometimes I don't stop and take it all in. I'm often appreciative of the work and results He's showing me, but if I stop and say to myself, 'I'm in Africa. I'm driving next to the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen (and I get to see it everyday). I'm going to meet with a student today that has no money in her pocket, she wears the same clothes almost every day, her mom's a prostitute and drug addict, and no one ever tells her she's loved.' … it's then I think, 'WOW. My life looks a lot different than it did 7 months ago.'

To catch you up, here are a few stories of my precious Capricorn kids that I'll NEVER, EVER forget:

-          Samaritan's Feet is an organization that works with Christian groups established in the community, providing an opportunity for those rooted people/groups to reach more of the underprivileged communities. Samaritan's Feet allows kids and teens to hear the Gospel in a small group setting, be counseled one-on-one while someone washes their feet, and are given a new pair of shoes. The child is told that when they look at their shoes, they're to remember that God loves them and wants a relationship with them.

So, during the most exhausting 4 weeks of my life (World Cup Holiday Clubs), Samaritan's Feet went to all the Living Hope communities and gave out Hope and shoes! I was in charge of organizing all the volunteers for the Capricorn Samaritan's Feet day. As I was running around making sure all was running well, I heard one of our teen boys pull one of the little boys (6 years old) aside after getting his new shoes. The teen sternly said, "When you go home, don't let your mom take your shoes and sell them. They're yours!" My heart was crushed as my eyes and ears were opened to yet another example of the harsh situations my Capricorn kids live in. This little boy's mom has the reputation of taking 'new donations' from her children and selling them for who knows what.

 This particular little boy I've grown to truly love. He wears the same t-shirt, pants, and sweater every time I see him. His hair is cut short – enough to see a fungus growing on his scalp from lack of hygiene. He smells of wet and soiled clothing. He didn't say a word to me the first 4 or 5 months I knew him; I honestly thought he was mute, but I've seen him warm up  and trust me, and when he enters the gates of Living Hope in Capricorn, he runs up to me and gives me the sweetest hug and says hello! His older brother came to me one day during Holiday Club and said, "Did you know it's T****'s birthday today?" I said, "Is it really? How old is he?" He replied, "I don't know. Maybe 6."  For some reason I asked a question I'd never thought to ask anyone before; I asked the older one, "Does T**** know it's his birthday?" The brother replied, "No. He doesn't know when his birthday is." Again, my heart was crushed by this fact. How does a child not know his birthday? I remember growing up and counting down the days till my birthday, often telling anyone who'd ask me how old I was, "I'm # AND A HALF" eagerly adding that half a year because growing older was such a milestone. But T****, like many in Capricorn, doesn't know his age, doesn't have a parent that cares for his well being or even at very least, his hygiene.  Pray for T**** with me as he grows up in harsh conditions!

 

-          Remember the story I wrote a few months ago about two girls in our Capricorn Living Hope Clubs- where Shagmie and I had to go to the home and call the police to come pick up the drunken/abusive father? Well, here's part 2 of the story:

Last week, I'm outside greeting the teens, welcoming everyone to Club. T***n walks up, I say hello and see her eye swollen and bruised. I immediately said, "Did your dad do this?" She said, "Yes. Last night." I asked her all about the situation and I said, "Let's go get your mom and sister and talk." I left Club (Shagmie and Stacie were there to lead Club) and drove T***n to her house. I sat in her home with mom and sister for awhile, talking about the patterns of their drunken/abusive/addict father and husband. The mom was distraught that T***n has now become the victim of the physical abuse (verbal abuse has been happening for quite some time). The two girls don't want to see their father in jail, so they just don't say anything when things like this happen. I rationalized with T***n, asking her how her father began hitting her mom and  swearing at her a long time ago, often yelled and berated the daughters and now has progressed to hitting them. I asked, "Has he hit your younger sister?" T***n said, "No. Never." I said, "Did you ever think he'd hit you?" She replied, "No." I then said, "So, if you don't go to the Police for yourself, can you at least go for your younger sister?" I think that opened up her eyes to thinking about the hurt a little differently. As protective as T***n is of her dad and his 'outcome' because of his habits, T***n doesn't want harm to come over her sister.

So, I drove T***n, her mom and sister to the police station to file a case that very minute. We sat and waited and got nowhere – even after talking to an officer.  Frustrated, but armed with some more information about the mom and T***n's rights, we headed back to Capricorn.

The next day, I called the mom to check up on the family. She said the younger daughter's school had suspicions that something was wrong with the family. The mom talked to the school counselor, was assigned a Social Worker and seemed to be making progress. [Note- finding active social workers for Capricorn is like pulling teeth from a lock-jawed-bull, so to have the school's backing and support is great!]

… Long story, longer… that same week, Living Hope Capricorn Team Leader, Natalie and I took the mom to a local Counselor, the Police Station to file another complaint/case, the Court House to create an addendum to the restraining order against the dad- adding the children to the order, and spent lots of time trying to figure out how to help and protect these children that I love.

T***n and I have had lots of conversations since then. She's resilient. She has moved on nicely. I'm just afraid once she really starts to process how hard and painful her family life really is, there will be need for deeper counseling- and who knows if that will ever take place on her own accord. Pray for T***n as God heals her physical and emotional wounds, binds up the broken-hearted, and begins to restore her family- with or without her dad. Pray for us, Living Hope Capricorn Staff, as we discern what's the best way to minister to all these hard, heart-breaking situations.

 

More stories to come. Still trying to process life.