November 2011 Recap

This has been a difficult month. November 2011 is one I'll never forget.

Mentally, I'm down and losing faith in transformation.

Emotionally, I can't stop crying because at every turn there's another disappointment or trial, and it feels like I can't get a breath.

Physically, I'm tired and don't feel like strength is possible in life here.

Spiritually there's a battle going on that is hindering growth – both mine and others.

November has brought lots of conversations at Living Hope and at Capricorn Community Church about 2012 and what work needs to be done, what ministry needs to look like, and what changes need to be made. This has brought lots of thought and good discussion, but the practical is what everyone is arguing about right now. Many people here in South Africa have told me that they believe I'm here because I'm supposed to speak up and tell others what I'm seeing. I'm a natural analyzer and have fairly strong spiritual discernment; this is not an easy role in this culture. I'm fighting for what I believe is God's direction, lined up with scripture, and trying to stand firm in what I know He's called me here to do. This has brought conflict and many hard days. I've been persecuted, slandered, and even threatened. I've felt even more like an outsider and questioned like a stranger. I've been here almost 2 years now, but it feels as if I'm still unknown and unaccepted. From the recent talks and messages, this journey has only begun and it's going to take years of work for people to see God's purposes. This is long-term ministry.

Not only has this been a month of verbal, spiritual, and emotional trials for me, but Capricorn is going through some tough days too. Someone likened the scene as something from the Biblical Sodom and Gomorra. In the town right next to Capricorn and where a lot of our youth go to school, there have been a multitude of shootings and gang violence. There was a period of time when school officials were sending numerous letters home to parents informing them of students who have been killed and warning parents of the violence. The situation led students to stay away from school, losing precious days of education that were replaced by fear. The authorities have heightened security and the scene in Capricorn on any given day is like one in a war-zone. Around 200 men from the South African Army have been deployed to our area. Tanks and police cars roam the streets. Army-uniformed men walk around with guns. Raids have taken place and roads blocked. One day I was trying to leave Capricorn, I drove down one street, met a crowd of curious on-lookers, realized they were watching a police-raid of a drug-house, had to turn around, went down another street, met army gun-men who told me I couldn't pass … did this for about 15 minutes before I found a road that would lead me out. I'm thankful for the presence of such 'authority,' but I'm suspecting a revolt from the people to come. If the army keep doing their jobs, overturning lawlessness, punishing people, and revealing people's sin, the community will rise up and potentially turn violent. Capricorn's view of physical authority is a picture of their acceptance of Biblical authority – there's no fear, no compliance, no respect.

In the church we're seeing what this culture calls "11 month Christians." The school holiday begins early December and many people who have jobs take a long holiday this month. When the "festive season" begins, people begin relaxing, partying, even-heavier drinking - which leads to irresponsible parenting, violence, sexual abuse … Sodom and Gomorra. Some of our youth are making poor choices, blatantly turning their back on God and the Church. Disappointment is surrounding us. A whole year (or two) of pouring into young-people goes out the window in a day. The immediate pleasures of this world are out-weighing their knowledge of the Holy Spirit and the commitments they've made in their faith. I'm praying the seeds that were planted in them aren't drowned and destroyed; God needs to bring water and continue His work!

This is the picture of a community and a people who need prayer, who need God, who need revival. Please pray for these challenges and the ministry that needs to be done this December month and in 2012. Pray that my voice and what I'm hearing the Lord ask me to speak will be heard and accepted. I'm not asking for life to be smooth and without trial. Trials over the last 2 years have brought me so close to Christ, but I am asking that God's work will be done and that His plans will take root and flourish in the midst of this war-zone. Praying that the Church will rise up and bring revival to a community in desperate need of a Savior.