I'm tired of hungry people

Ministry here can make one weary. There's so many in need and so much work to do, but how do you not get tired of it all?

I've been studying Jesus' ministry while He walked the earth, and I've come to a "pause" in looking at Jesus' response to the crowds that followed Him. Let me warn you, this entry is not a theological interpretation of this passage, just a thought and feeling of empathy for Jesus as I've found myself in a similar situation in ministry lately. 

John 6 gives the great account of "Jesus Feeding the Five Thousand." What a miracle! What a way to show power over the limitations of this world. Jesus sees a need and meets it - miraculously. Jesus shows compassion. Jesus eases an earthly pain. But the pause I'm taking in scripture meditation is not on this great miracle, but Jesus' response to the crowd's continued expectation for Him to provide. 

Let's read this passage that needs some "pause."

First, Jesus feeds the 5000. Jesus walks on water ... then:

John 6:22- 51  [http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%206&version=NIV]

Jesus seems to be fed up with these people. He seems to be tired of providing food and having a following of people who only seek Him for what they can receive, not for the spiritual food and satisfaction He longs to give. Physical hunger in this natural world is not satisfied indefinitely; hunger comes multiple times a day. And the sad thing is, when you've provided a meal once, the hungry remember that and try to get you to provide again and again. I see Jesus' exhaustion and empathize with his frustration. 

I'm feeling the same sort of weariness. I get tired of people asking me for things. I get tired of people seeing Christians and The Church as a place they can receive tangible things. The crowds in Capricorn, South Africa often get angry when we don't have anything to give. They say nasty things and turn their backs on our relationship with them when they don't get what they're seeking. They're often so self-centered and in survival-mode that violence and fights can breakout over the smallest cup of soup or donation of clothing. Greed consumes.

When this greed has become the norm, it's hard for me to decipher who really needs relief because of temporary poverty situations versus those who are taking advantage of the generosity of Believers. And as Believers, we often harden our hearts to those in need because we've been "burned" by the needy before.

Was Jesus tired of meeting physical needs? Was He tired of people demanding His gifts? Was He tired of feeding people day in and day out? 

I am. I'm tired of providing and being asked for food parcels or clothing. I'm tired of being rejected when only spiritual food is given. I want people to see my purpose here in South Africa - it's not solely to minister to physical needs in poverty, but rather and most importantly to share the Gospel and give spiritual food. Yet, in a greedy, selfish world, the majority of crowds are only interested in the now and satisfying the needs of the day. I want people to wake up out of their blindness and open their eyes to eternal satisfaction in Jesus and His work on the Cross. I want people to feast on Jesus' words and freedom: "For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world … Jesus said, I am the bread of life; whoever come to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst. (John 6:33-35)" And I love how Jesus tacks on a kicker: "But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. (John 6:36)" It's as if He's getting out His frustration as if saying, 'I've told you, you've seen, now get on with believing and quit asking me the same questions!' 

I take comfort that Jesus dealt with the same poverty and the same insisting crowds. He too got righteously frustrated with them and ill with their spiritual blindness. I'm praying for the Spirit to unveil eyes and for true, spiritual conversion to take place in Capricorn. If our people would feast on Jesus, they would no longer see their physical hunger as priority, but depend on the One who can provide fully and eternally!

Matthew 5:6 rings in my ears when I see our community's hunger:
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

I ask the Lord to forgive me for my impatience and insensitivity. 
I ask for endurance and grace. 
I ask for a soft heart and compassionate spirit. 
I ask for eyes that see spiritual need as priority and physical need as a platform for showing God's grace and goodness.

Grace and peace to all who work with the poor and needy. 

"For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore, I command you, 'You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land'." Deuteronomy 15:11