Honesty about Letting Go

When coming to the mission field (Jan 2010), I had high expectations. Expectations existed (whether conscious or subconscious) for myself, ministry, goals, and others. I also feel great pressure to not disappoint those who are helping fund this journey. Time is money, they say; but time and success are measured very differently here in another land. The pressures I feel are mostly self-inflicted and many have not been appropriate for the realities that are South Africa. 

I'm learning a lot. I'm shifting expectations and realizing that partners in this journey really care about health in this mission, not just results.

I'm letting go. 

I'm setting some boundaries. 

I'm not going to feel the pressure to perform a successful task, but rather be a successful light. 

I'm not going to break my neck (and my health) to attend every aspect of church-planting-life. 

I will lead and love, but will not place the pressure of transformative spiritual health upon my efforts. 

I will depend more on prayer and the Spirit's timing. 

I will accept failure. 

I will re-evaluate my time-spent and give 100% to a few rather than 10% to many.

I will be ok with "missing out" on events that I'd like to be part of but simply can't juggle. 

I will be part of a small group that I do not have to teach!

I will seek life-giving relationships and hobbies and give God glory in daily-life. 

I will rest. 

I will allow the Spirit to use me, not expect to be used. 

I will be poured out but be conscious to refill. 

I'm letting go. 

I'm healing!