A prayerful Christmas

I know it’s January and reminiscing about Christmas is not kosher. We’ve all moved on to New Years resolutions and goals. However, I’ve been pondering writing this blog post for quite some time and didn’t want to put this story to paper without processing it a little more. That’s what happens in my life a lot … there are so many occurrences that I could communicate, but there’s something about waiting until the Spirit gives voice to the story’s conclusion that is important. So, here is my story:

Christmas in Capricorn …

I wake up and it’s HOT - about 80 degrees F at 7:00am. To an American, this is NOT Christmas. 

Church services begin at 9:00am. Instead of sipping coco, making cinnamon rolls and lounging in my pjs by the tree, I begin my trek to church. Christmas Day Service will be packed and as a church leader, I must be ready to greet the masses. It’s a work-day.

I arrive to the building and see my little children, all dressed up as if prepared for the most special day of their lives. Parents have shopped - most likely out of their budget - in order to present themselves and their children as something other than “ones from poverty.” In Community Development Work, we call this ‘projecting an alternate image.’ Here in Capricorn, it’s important to keep up with the Christmas Jones’ and reap the consequences later… not much unlike America, huh? This tradition of clothing yourself in newness for the Christmas ‘parade’ is so hard for me to stomach. The very ones who ask for, and truly need handouts to feed their families throughout the year come to church service as if life is abundant during this time of Christmas cheer. When these visible reminders of poverty-mindset and mental trickery hit, I calm myself and treasure presence over the image presented. I thank God for provision instead of getting furious over skewed perspective. After all, this is what is called ‘culture’ or ‘acceptable tradition.’

As service is about to begin, we’re running out of seats … I’m trying not to remember that our numbers on a normal Sunday have dropped drastically in the last few months … the children and youth outnumbering adults on most Sundays. This day, I cherish the variety in attendance and pray that something they see, hear or experience invites them to transform. Praying The Savior’s message is communicated to unveiled hearts.

The music begins and the worship leader speaks a welcome. I turn to the door and see numerous mothers in their pajamas, shoving 3, 4, even 5 children at a time into the building. The children are left alone and the moms quickly walk back to their homes - as if we’re a free babysitting service. Our service was full of finely groomed children with no adult supervision. These moms were probably assuming our church would give a gift or food to the children in attendance (as many churches do on Christmas here in townships); therefore, parents tend to bring one and all for the mere hope of a handout. As I mourned the scene of moms dumping their children at our door, I cried. I was burdened by the irresponsible parenting, the arrogance of a handout hope and the fact that these were children that God loved. The toddler-masses were overwhelming to our tiny church that day. 

Throughout the service, I saw to crying babies. Many adults in our congregation were trying to “shush” squirmy children and discipline quietly, but there were many screaming little ones … and our service was too long for such short attention spans. 

With each child I picked up and rocked, I prayed. I prayed for God to give our church love for these children. I heard God’s Word in my head … “let the little children come to me!” … but I asked, “Lord, then give us servants with a heart for children that will love, teach and tend to them!” 

How can you have a productive service with babies unattended and children watching children? How can a church hold typical worship when 75% of the listeners are under 18 … majority who are not Christians? 

How can parents abandon their children to the doors of a church on a day that’s supposed to be filled with ‘family?’ And in light of this reality, how can the church respond? 

It’s hard not to get angry at the mindset of many in our community. This is all they know. Survival and hand-to-mouth earning is the norm. It’s hard to want to serve those that take advantage of the generosity of others. 

There was no food-distribution that day. There were donated presents for the children who had faithfully come to our Sunday School during the year (upwards of 100 children); each gift printed with a name on it. Many of the children who were abandoned at our door left church before the service was over … they couldn’t participate long and were bored, so they walked home alone. Other children who were there for the gifts and even endured the lengthy service, left crying because there weren’t enough gifts for all in attendance (those not attending weekly Sunday School). While this may sound cruel and many might say, “why didn’t you just buy extra gifts in case others came?” …  if we did that, we’d feed this handout-mentality and perpetuate hurtful-giving. The children were rewarded for attending and learning throughout the year - not gifted just for being dumped on our door-step. Our church does not want to add to to harmful-charity that already goes on in our community. It takes much strength and restraint to give wisely in a place like Capricorn.
[For more information about the theory of proper giving, see When Helping Hurts ]

Christmas was humbling. Christmas was a reminder that Jesus came as a baby and He valued the role of a child. God knew a child could teach much! 

My Christmas was not warm and cozy but sparked fire for injustice. 

Pray with me for this community of parents who might not grasp the reality of their responsibility. 

Pray for the children who are caught in the middle - trying to survive. 

Pray for the church as it needs to respond.