Firstly, as much as I call Capricorn home, I do not live within its borders. I live less than a mile from one of the entrances. I can walk to Capricorn if needed but I'm privileged to have a car that gets me in and out of there quickly if needed. I am not trapped by Capricorn borders like many I serve.
When violent protests hit this place, I'm informed by locals as to the safety and my ability to enter. I have many "men of peace" in the community and because of our Christian community, these people give me updates on the situation. When the police get involved, I surrender to their advice and enter when they give the ok. This is the primary school's situation as well. There is such emphasis placed in mission upon proper entry and occupancy into a township like Capricorn… and many non-profits and even Christians who seek to do-good don't grasp these rules.
I used to think I was being "too careful." What would Jesus do? Would Jesus play it safe? Or would Jesus risk life and limb to be with his people during Capricorn protests? Here's what I've come to see in this particular situation. I asked myself, what's the motive of me being involved during this time? Do the people really need assistance in this matter? What can I give or do? In this case, the protests were led by taxi drivers who lost a court case and their taxis were impounded. They were fighting to continue driving illegally and they wanted to enforce mob-justice and shut the community down to show how much control they had. In this situation, no one was in danger unless you walked the street and got involved in the protests. If you stayed home and weren't active in the protests, you could cope and be safe. So as an "outsider" the people didn't really see a need for me in the community until things settled. They actually didn't want me there to draw attention. Yes, the children were bored and the people weren't able to go to work, but there wasn't a cause for outsiders. The biggest lesson I'm learning here is to check my motive. Is it that I want to see what's going on and personally be informed? Is it that I think I can "save the world" by my presence or my resources? Or is it a time to understand my role in the community and pray that the efforts I've done in the recent days to equip, support and build local leaders is actually fruitful? I'm learning the latter is true.
Missionaries are alongsiders. Missionaries and Christian ministry leaders should never be in the spotlight as 'saviors of the situation.' We are a human-resource and spiritual guides and the locals must be supported as the ones who lead.
This time, it was important to stay outside. Coming in as "rescuer" could be seen as a harmful mission theory. Thanks to technology, I was able to call and whatsapp my class children from the school, I could check on my church families and I was in frequent contact with many local leaders. It was time for me to encourage, not step in. I told the locals how proud I was of their efforts to hold prayer meetings in their homes. I was so thankful for the local bodies that arose to their God-given gifts and really were the body parts of Christ coming together. To step in this time would mean I would be taking the role and robbing others I've equipped in acting in their gift-set.
Proper missions response this time meant, encourage.
For me, the separation from my people was the hardest. I really felt South African apartheid had come again, but this time it was a separation between economic status. If you lived in another neighborhood, you weren't allowed across the Capricorn lines. If you were a citizen of Capricorn, you were held in like a prisoner. This isn't how we've come to know Capricorn. It isn't right to be so separate.
So, after 4 working days of being asked to stay outside the borders, I'm tired. Our Butterfly Art Project team (the arts education team to the Capricorn Primary School and community) worked at our Director's home in the neighborhood across the street from Capricorn. We planned the rest of our year, had lots of "debriefing talks" with our interns from Europe who are having a hard time emotionally and mentally with this violence, and we've supported our children from afar on the phone … many hours of talking to parents and community leaders. I've given lots of time to documenting my plans and purpose in 2016 and praying about what ministry should look like in this next, big season in South Africa. This pause from normality was really productive and put life in perspective for all of us!
I'm exhausted. These events are cause for overdrive. The mental strain and emotional processing wears me out. This must be the feeling of all inside Capricorn too, but with extra strain due to "survival mode" as well.
I want to point out that we all process these things differently. Some people in Capricorn have said they're fine and life is per normal. Some have told me their children are afraid to walk the streets alone and are sad about the destruction of the buildings. But there is LIFE in the Christian community there. There's a source of strength that is coming alive and being a witness to the whole community. Even sitting in a team meeting yesterday, I realized that those of us who are Christians are dealing with these events in a much healthier way than those who don't know this Christian-fellowship in Capricorn. A relationship with God and fellowship with others makes a huge difference.
The longer I'm in South Africa, the more I see that this is what life is like here. There will be protests, violence, unrest. This is a community that is under-resourced and under-heard. They don't always follow the rules and they prefer making a noise to get attention. This is Africa. Because of these realities, I'm no longer so naive about who can come and do ministry here. I haven't had a team visit in over a year, and that's partly purposeful because short-term mission has to be re-thought and strategic where I am. The American circus can't come and draw attention and think that's the best way to serve in this context. Maybe one day soon I can host a small team again and have the support of my USA church in that way. I'm still learning too.
I also want to point out that Facebook is a tricky thing. One must be conscious of overly-emotional messages and what sound like advertisements for a cause. There's always a bit of truth sprinkled in, but locals have been outraged at how this situation blew up emotionally on Facebook and how people who aren't really in touch with the matter can project their feeling on a community. Please don't believe everything you see on social media.
I do my best to stay calm and report the reality of the matter. Yes, it's difficult to bear, but I believe God builds a missionary for their task. If you look at my biography, you can see the circumstances and personality-building that fits this life as an "alongsider" of Capricorn so well. After 5 1/2 years of working in this community and being inside every day, I'm learning how to educate the American church on ways to properly view and partner with communities like these.
As Americans, we see this news and we shudder. Our lives don't look like this and we think this shouldn't happen to anyone. To a degree this is true. However, Jesus is coming back soon, and this should catapult us into a reality that is not our bubble of suburbia. The world needs us and our prayers. With proper motives and God-led mission, we can really make a difference in places like Capricorn through the locals there.
The school is reopening today. The police are still EVERYWHERE and patrolling heavily. The community leaders are calling a meeting on Wednesday. There's a lot of activity and God has a huge opportunity to show up and show off His glory!
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